I enjoy composing music and wish I had more time to do so. Songs about love and positive relationships often come relatively easy. Songs for family life cycle celebrations are fun to write.  Emotional events often drive me to the keyboard.

In 2002, a colleague’s 16-year old daughter tragically took her own life. I did not know Emily but the sadness of her death overwhelmed me. I sat down at the keyboard and struggled with words. The music would not flow. I wrote her name at the top of the blank page and without much thought played an “E” on the piano corresponding to the first letter of Emily. I don’t know why or where the idea came from, but I simply counted the number of letters between E and M (nine). Since that is one note more than an octave, I played the F just above the original E. The next three notes came using the same method. I counted the intervals between the letters and alternated moving up and down the keyboard. The result was a haunting five-note theme. The music flowed for several measures but then dried up. I could not find a way to add a sense of healing, hope and resurrection to balance profound sadness.

Days later I watched an interview with Billy Joel. He described using fragments of old, incomplete songs to compose “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant.” That approach struck a chord (pun intended). Almost immediately, I remembered an eight-measure melody written when I was a teenager that I could never figure out how to finish. With courage inspired by Billy, I added that theme to the composition for Emily. The rest of the piece fell into place. Listen for this transition starting at 3:00 and again at 4:18.

I gave Emily’s mother a CD entitled, “No Words for Emily.” We never spoke about her daughter or the music. I don’t know if she ever listened to it. If she did, I hope that it gave her some comfort and that she heard what I tried to convey: Profound loss. Sadness. Acceptance. Hope. Healing.

Equipment/Software Used:
Cubase; Proteus 2000; Roland Keyboard; Yamaha WX5 Wind Controller